"Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight." Psalm 43:3,4 NIV)
"I just want..."
I find myself saying this A LOT.
"I just want" something to happen or "I just want" to figure something out or "I just want" to hear about something or "I just want" to get to something I'm looking forward to.
This "just wanting" reflects the desires of my heart, which God's Word says He'll give me: "...he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4b). But this giving is connected to some preceding action on my part: "Delight yourself in the LORD, and..." (Psalm 37:4a).
"Delight yourself in the Lord."
How do we "delight" ourselves in God? I went a few rounds with this question and then fell back on a technique I've used before in applying God's Word: setting it into a human-relationship context. Of course, God is God, and relating to Him is in many ways unlike relating to anyone else. But He created people in His image, so looking at how I relate to those closest to me down here on earth gives me a handle to grasp when I'm thinking about my relationship with the Lord Most High.
How do I "delight," for instance, in my children? I talk about them. I interact with them. I prioritize my time with them. I think about them. I wait to hear from them. I know them. I find joy in them.
Going back to my "I just want" for a minute: one of the prayers I pray regularly is, "Change my heart so that I want to want what You want. Change my heart so that I want what You want. Change my heart so that I want You." I want what my heart wants to be in alignment with what God wants.
If I "delight" myself in God—if I talk about Him, spend time with Him, seek to know Him, prioritize my relationship with Him, find joy in Him—it's going to change my heart. It's going to change what my heart wants. My heart is going to start to want what God wants. The desires of my heart are going to be more and more for God, my delight. And when I get to this point, my wanting will turn to having, because God will gladly and lavishly always give me Himself.
"I just want..." Every day for the rest of my life, I need to go to the altar of God, lay down all my other wants, and ask My Delight to change my heart so that there is but one fulfillment to that longing: "You."
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I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to tell me what you really think. Years ago, I explained to my then-two-year-old that my appointment with a counselor was "sort of like going to a doctor who will help me be a better mommy." Without blinking, she replied, "You'd better go every day." All of which is just to say I've spent some time in the school of brutal honesty!