6 Verses To Help You Through

A couple months ago, I asked my younger daughter to pray for me about a struggle I'd been messing with for a while. I told her I just felt stuck, like I'd been going around and around in a revolving door and couldn't get out. 

My 14-year-old asked a few questions--looking for a little more detail--then promised to pray.

A day or so later, she handed me a piece of notebook paper filled front and back with her handwriting. At the top, she'd written, "Bible Verses To Help You Through." 

After I'd read just one verse and her personal commentary on it, I:

• Thanked her in awe and gratitude.
• Asked if I could share it. Because isn't everybody trying to get through something? 

Maybe you're just at the beginning of "through." Maybe you're feeling stuck in the middle of the middle of the middle. Maybe the end is in sight, but you're soul-weary from the journey.

Wherever you're at, I pray these verses and reflections from my sweet girl--shared here with her permission and blessing--will encourage your heart and mind. 

"But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about.' " (Luke 10:41, 42a, NLT)

"Your unfailing love is better than life itself." (Psalm 63:3, NLT)

"You satisfy me more than the richest feast." (Psalm 63:5a, NLT)

These verses help me to have a better perspective on things. They're a good reminder that the things we are worried about and stress over hold no importance compared to God. The things on earth we allow to hold our delight and joy do not begin to compare to Him and His love for us--His unfailing love that will never leave us empty or needing more, like earthly things do.

"God is not a man, so He does not lie. He is not human, so He does not change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?" (Number 23:19, NLT)

This verse puts me at ease. Naturally, as humans, we change constantly. This verse helps me to find peace in the fact that the One Who is greater than any other is constant. We never have to worry that He will change or that His love for us will change. He will always be consistently perfect.

"For my people have done two evil things: They have abandoned me--the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all!" (Jeremiah 2:13, NLT)

Again, this verse helps me to get a better perspective. We become so upset when worldly things we take delight in fail, yet that is what they're bound to do! He is the only, only, only one who can fulfill us.

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." (Psalm 139:16, NLT)

I think this verse offers peace, too. There is not one event that will take place in our lives that is too much for God. One bad event, or even many, isn't going to derail His outstanding plan for us. He has a great plan for us, immensely greater than what ours could ever be, and His plan works with the bad times, too.

And here's one add-on from me...

"The Lord is my shepherd. He gives me everything I need. He lets me lie down in the fields of green grass. He leads me beside quiet waters. He gives me new strength. He guides me in the right paths for the honor of his name. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid. You are with me. Your shepherd's rod and staff comfort me. You prepare a feast for me right in front of my enemies. You pour oil on my head. My cup runs over. I am sure that your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. And I will live in the house of the Lord forever." (Psalm 23, NIRV)

I loved the fresh insight I gained into this familiar psalm the other day during my devotional reading from Revealing Jesus, by Darlene Zschech. She quotes the Reverend Derek Kidner about verse 4, which is often translated "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death": "Only the Lord can lead a man through death; all other guides turn back, and the traveler must go on alone." 

Maybe you feel like you're walking through a dark valley right now. Maybe you're going through loss caused by death or the letting-go of dreams or hopes or just the expectation of what your life would look like. Whatever you're going through, Yahweh-raah--God as shepherd--is with you.

Do you have a favorite "get through" verse? 

I'd love to have you share it here or over on my Facebook page.

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Previous posts that might have something to do with this one:

• 7 Sources of Encouragement For Your Teen Daughter's Heart
• Seven Things To Do When There's Nothing To Do But Wait
• What To Think About Instead of That Thing You're Trying Not to Think About

This post may have been shared at some of these blog link parties.

7 Sources of Encouragement For Your Teen Daughter's Heart

I would have made such a good pioneer woman. 

There are lots of reasons behind this conviction (working title for that post: "Reasons I Would Have Made a Good Pioneer Woman"), but chief among them is the fact that those 1800s mamas didn't have to raise kids in an era of internet and cell phones and texting and Wi-Fi and insta-this and face-that. 

Still, in spite of my frustrations with technology and its frequent (ill) effects on the emotional state of our household ("MOM! Is the internet down AGAIN?!!), there are things I love about it--like these seven faith-feeding resources that have all been approved and recommended by my in-house testing panel (namely, my 18-year-old daughter).

However much I may envy our foremothers' simplified life choices--"let's see...is this a 'work' dress day or a 'good' dress day?"--I'm grateful these encouraging options are available now. Because I well understand there is a lot to be said for voices that speak truth into my teenager's mind and heart but are, let's face it, not me.

1. YouVersion Bible app. My daughter discovered this treasure when she was looking for a Bible for her phone. It is that--and a lot more, plus it's free. She especially likes YouVersion's subject-based Bible reading plans--12 days on prayer, for instance, or 21 days on worship--along with its Scripture images. I like that she's using her phone to access something significantly more life-altering than her friends' Facebook status updates.

2. Godly Dating 101. I know some families eschew dating entirely in favor of courting...or arranged marriage, maybe. And having been through the dating ordeal with my firstborn, I'm inclined to agree with them. But don't let the word "dating" throw you off: this resource promoting "chivalry, modesty, purity" offers sound advice on so much more than dating that I think it could almost be called Godly Living 101. I save their Facebook posts for myself all the time, even though I'm happily planning on dating only my husband for the rest of my life. Check out this Facebook post for an example of something I saved on the spot.

3. QWC Devos. When my daughter was just barely on the other side of a painful breakup (see "dating ordeal," above), she Googled "Christian dating quotes" and kept seeing powerful results all from the same source. She eventually found her way to the Facebook page and website of Quite Women Co.: "a place for women to be quite the women God has called them to be." Her phone camera roll is filled with screen shots of their posts, and she uses their devotionals as the basis for a Bible verse of the week that she journals about. Often, during our nightly chats, she says, "Oh, I've got to read you this from Quite Women Devos." And when she does, I'm usually struck in the heart by the profound truth of what I'm hearing, put in ways I only wish I could come up with on my own.

4. Adam Cappa. Categorized as a Christian pop musician/band on his Facebook page, Adam Cappa is also a husband and dad who offers cut-to-the-chase counsel on God-honoring dating and relationship goals, for "ladies and gents." (Recent example: "the greatest couples worship Jesus, not each other.") My daughter and I often message each other posts we want to make sure the other hasn't missed, usually with the tag line, "Adam Cappa does it again."

5. Elevation Worship. I'm a passionate believer in the power of music as a conveyor of truth. What my girls take into their ears gets absorbed by their brains, trickles down to their hearts, and comes out of their mouths and their emotions and their actions. Their newest musical obsession--which I share--is Elevation Worship. As chauffeur mom, I paid my dues in my daughters' younger years, listening to ABC songs and "The Wheels on the Bus" ad nauseam en route. Now, this gorgeous, powerful music is my reward for time served. But an even greater reward is that this is also what my daughters choose to listen to when I'm not the one driving them around.

6. Project Inspired. Billing itself as "the biggest community of Christian girls on the web," this site offers one-stop shopping for young women of faith. With articles, music, fashion advice, Bible studies, and more under the banner "God, friends, life, love," Project Inspired is the ministry of model, wife, and mom Nicole Weider. My daughter--my very own "PI girl"--told me the other day, "I feel like 99% of what they say is biblically accurate, not just what the author thinks. I feel like it's not just the author's opinion or what they did or what they think you should do, but what the Bible is actually saying." I love both that she's noticed this about the site and that she cares that it's true.

7. Hobby Lobby. No, I didn't confuse this blog post with my errand list for the week. It's just that Hobby Lobby happens to be the main supplier of the first source of encouragement my daughter lays her eyes on every morning: her "inspiration wall." She got the idea from a friend several months ago: a wall filled with Scripture prints and quotes that would inspire her every day. She asked for canvas prints for her 18th birthday, and Hobby Lobby was the place to find them...and find them...and find them. 

But the most treasured piece on her wall actually came from a different source: Kcreatives. I found Kimberly (the "K" behind Kcreatives) via a sharing thread in an online writer's group. The beautiful handcrafted creations on her Facebook page beguiled me  (she's on Instagram, too) and led me to an idea for a one-of-a kind 18th birthday gift: a personalized watercolor setting of Jeremiah 29:11.

Of all the things my teenage daughter could have hanging on her wall (good grief...didn't I have a Rick Springfield poster?), I can't think of anything much better than this.

If you're the mom or aunt or grandma or friend of a teenage girl, what resources do you know of that feed her mind and heart and soul? Please share them in a comment or on Facebook. Those of us who love these young women need all the wisdom we can get.

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Past posts that have something to do with this one:

• 5 Ways to Feed Your Child's Faith (Without Preaching at Them)

• Ma(ma) Always Said (Or: I Stole All My Best Mom Wisdom from “Little House on the Prairie")

This post may have been shared at some of these link parties.

10 Things Moms of Teens Will Love You For Not Saying

In a few weeks, my youngest child will turn 13. 

Which means I will officially be the mom of teenagers and only teenagers.

On the one hand, this will be handy: no more “mom of one tween and one teen” hassle. 

On the other hand, this development still feels mildly stunning. Or majorly stunning, depending on the morning and the hormonal (im)balance of the cast of characters in this drama we call “Life In Our House.”

While I’m processing all this, I keep running across posts like “10 Things Never to Say to the Mom of a Newborn” and “What Not to Say to a New Parent.” But a Google search of “what not to say to the parent of a teenager” only brought up results on what not to say to a teen parent.

I’m grateful for the “what not say” pieces in support of new parents. I've culled “how’s it going?” from my stash of go-to phrases, having been counseled that New Mom has no idea how it’s going, only that it would be going a lot better if she was getting any sleep. 

But on behalf of my fellow parents of teenagers, I think there are a few classic lines about this end of the parenting spectrum that could stand to be retired or replaced.

If you're the parent of a teenager or know the parent of a teenager or think you might ever find yourself in conversation with the parent of a teenager, head over to Grown and Flown for a list of questions and phrases that could probably use a little rest. 

(And for the record, if you asked me how being the mom of a teen is going, I'd probably tell you that I think it's going pretty well but that I'm sure it would be going even better if I were getting more sleep.)

**This post may be have been shared at some of these blog bashes.**

7 Reasons I Love Being the Mom of a Teenager

A couple weeks ago, I posted "8 Things Moms of Young Daughters Have to Look Forward To (Really!). (It was also very kindly published by Mamalode.) I loved hearing from several moms of girls who said my little list encouraged them not to dread the teen years quite so much. (There also seems to be a lot of shoe-sharing anticipation going around.)

Which is fabulous, because there's plenty of that dread out there. 

Search "parenting teenagers," and all sorts of results along the lines of "How to Survive Having a Teenager" and "What To Do to Get Through the Teen Years" and "Help! There's A Teenager in My House" come up. 

Words like "nightmare" and "brutal" and "alien" pop up with rather alarming frequency.

And maybe understandably so: between school schedules and interpersonal relationships and hormones and fledgling independence and that tricky not-yet-fully-cooked-teen-brain thing, being the parent of a teenager is not for the faint of heart (or will or mind or stomach).

But, as I tried to prove in my earlier post, having older children is something to look forward to, not fear! It's a season to anticipate, not avoid! And because I think this applies whether you're parenting sons or daughter or both, here are a few more joys I'm discovering about mothering someone whose age ends with "-teen."

Witness the passion. No, I am not talking about teenage dating...that, surely, is a subject for another list. I am talking about watching your teen do something they love and possibly are somewhat good at.

When my girls were younger, they dabbled in the usual sorts of activities many kids try out at some point: gymnastics, cross-country, choir, basketball, piano lessons, dance and band. All along, I waited for them to hit on The Thing that would make their hearts happy. The Thing that they would want to do even when they were tired and grumpy and overloaded with homework. The Thing that they might even be a little gifted at. 

For both my girls, that Thing ended up being dance. And also, band. These Things fill them up. They motivate and inspire them. They are their passions. And I love to watch my daughters do these Things because that passion shows on their faces while they do them.

When you have the joy of watching your child do something they love to do, that they have worked hard to do as well as they can, you get a gift.

I know some kids find their Thing far earlier than the teen years. And I know some teens (and adults!) still haven't found theirs. But when it happens, it is beautiful to behold.

Who's driving? Eventually, not you for a change. Okay, let's just jump right into the thick of it. Yes, having a teenage driver is rather terrifying. You simply cannot think too much about it. I'm convinced God invented teenage drivers as a clever trick to get parents to pray more.

But beyond the anxiety, there is this: it's great! it's handy! 

A couple weeks ago, my daughter wanted to go to a local lake by way of a friend's house. My other daughter needed to be, well, not there. Normally, this would have required about 17 trips by me back and forth. But no: my new driver took herself off, went to the friend's house, went to the lake, came home...okay, she took a detour at the end of the day to the busiest commercial stretch in our area to go to a consignment shop, which her father approved because she couldn't get through to me. But still. I did not have to do those 17 trips. Yes, I filled my time with intercessory prayer. But I did other things, too. 

And then, just recently, both my girls were offered the huge honor of being student teachers for a preschool dance class at their beloved studio. Said class is on Saturday mornings. I said, "Sure, you can do it!" Because, hello, I WILL BE HOME EATING PANCAKES IN MY PAJAMAS while they drive off down the road. Real maple syrup, anyone?

I'll be taking a nap now, thanks. The other day, I told my girls I was going upstairs to lie down for a while. (I'm still trying to catch up on my 700 hours of sleep debt accrued during my girls' respective first two years of life.) "Okay," they mumbled, not even looking up from whatever it was they were doing. 

And that's the thing: I didn't really know what they were doing, and it didn't matter. It was a lazy summer afternoon, and they weren't engaged in anything illegal, immoral, or dangerous, so what did I care about the specifics? Nor did they care that I was taking a break, so long as dinner eventually materialized. 

Remember those days (maybe you're living one right now) when you put your baby or toddler down for a nap and then hit the bed yourself, praying you didn't hear anything resembling crying for at least 20 minutes? Well, this isn't then. This is full-on, REM-cycle napping if you want to do it and if the rest of life permits, because your teens DO permit.

And it's not just about taking a nap, you understand. It's about doing any number of things you want or need to do on your schedule, and having your teenagers not really care because they are occupied with their own stuff. It's quite lovely. And no, no, no, I do not feel "unneeded." 

Into the deep. There is no doubt you can have serious, weighty discussions with a 2-year-old. I often wrote down the uncensored, unfiltered things my girls said when they were younger. (See the paragraph that starts "I'd love to hear from you" way down at the bottom of this post for one of the most memorable examples. Which I did not need to write down to remember. For obvious reasons.) But all along when you are raising little ones, you're preparing them to think for themselves. And when they get to the teen years, you get significant glimpses-- or, once in a while, full-on views--of that. 

Sometimes, you get to hear what they believe. My husband and I have tried to write faith in God on our girls' minds and hearts. Now, we have the regular joy of seeing what is etched there and to witness them making our faith their own. When my girls tell me they want to do in-depth Bible studies or start a "Girls of God" Facebook group or that they're working on one fruit of the Spirit every day, I am stunned and thankful and amazed and humbled and convicted. I've tried to teach them in the past, but as they get older, I am more often their student.

Can we be friends? When my girls were small, I understood I needed to be their parent, not their friend. They had friends; I was the mom. I had to establish my authority for their own good. Getting them to like me was not my job (although a steady supply of secret-recipe chocolate-chip cookies over the years did help that cause significantly).

Now, though, I'm seeing the beginnings of a shift. Make no mistake about it: I. Am. Still. The. Mom. But I also get glimpses of sweet friendship, especially with my teenager. A few weeks ago, I took my tween to a movie. (Inside Out. Loved it. And I do not like "kids'" movies. If they make a "Sadness" stuffed doll, I want her. And I do not like stuffed stuff. Anyway.) My 11-year-old took her friends; I took my 16-year-old. We sat apart from the middle-school set and had a great time. She's also my companion when her sister "hangs out" at the mall or the beach and I need to be "around" but not really "there." 

I'll say it again: I am still The Mom. I still have to discipline and lay down the law and be un-fun. In the midst of this, though, I regularly catch glimmers of the friendship my daughters and I are building together...a gift now and a source of hope for the future.

Here's what they really think of you. Was that a cringe I just felt reverberating across cyberspace? Oh yes, I feel you. And to any parent reading this who's ever heard "I hate you" or "I don't like you" or "I don't love you" or something much, much worse, I'm cringing on your behalf. 

But there is also the other side, and it hits deep, too. 

Unlike the wonderful, blissful, unconditional love of a younger child ("I wuv you, mommy"), "love" as it is expressed out loud from a teen can be very conditional. Because of this, when you hear it--and when it is not an affectation connected to getting the keys to the car or a curfew extension--you know you are getting something true and tested and borne from experience. My 16-year-old has seen me at my best and my worst. So when she tells me, "I'm so thankful I have a mom I can talk to...you always make me feel better," I know I'm on the receiving end of take-it-to-the-mom-bank reality that has passed through the filter of all the times I didn't make her feel better. 

The fruits of your labors. "Do you need help with that? Do you have everything? Are you ready to go? ARE YOU READY TO GO!?" Remember the last time you uttered one of these mom-standbys? Oh, right: "Yes, and it was about 30 seconds ago!"

So the thing about teenagers is that sometimes--sometimes--they do this stuff ON THEIR OWN. Not always. In some cases, not often. But, for instance, last week when we were on vacation at a family lake cottage, the inflatables needed to be, well, inflated. My teen got them around, hooked up the air pump, and went to work. From our chairs on the beach, my husband and I yelled, out of habit, "Do you need help?" To which she calmly replied, "Nope! I've got it!" Nice. 

This is also the girl who came into the kitchen the night before band camp and told me, "I've got my instrument and my flip folder and my music and my water bottles and my sunscreen and my Frogg Togg and my lip balm and my tennis shoes." Which pretty much took care of my requisite "do you have...?" inquiry. Very nice.

Here again, do I feel unneeded in the face of all this self-sufficiency? Are you kidding me? Please. I mean, no...but thanks for asking! Moms of teenagers are still absolutely, desperately, regularly needed. All I'm saying here is that sometimes you just don't have to blow up the darn floaty whale and you get to sit by the lake instead. Which is also very nice.

I can't close out this tribute to teenhood without going on the record again about something very important: I know many, many parents have stories of teenage years they are just trying to survive or did just barely survive. I am truly so sorry for you.

I know my husband and I have been protected from much heartache and that, but for the grace of God, we might well go where other parents have gone.

And I know teenagers come in all moods, temperaments, personalities and dispositions. I'll be the first to admit that if my in-house teen rep hadn't inherited a significant dose of her father's wiring, I'd be writing a very different kind of post. "How to Parent a Teen Who is Exactly Like You When You Can Hardly Deal With Yourself," maybe?

Also, we are so very not done yet. We have miles to go before we sleep. Anything could happen. 

But this far in, we are not just surviving the teenage years. We are loving them. 

And if these years are still ahead of you, know this: for all the reasons I've mentioned and so many more, there is a very good chance you'll love them, too.

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Are you looking for more insights into the deep, dark mysteries of the adolescent brain? Here are a couple other sources to check out...

• The Teen Brain: Still Under Construction
• Adolescent Brains are Works in Progress

Are you the parent of a teenager? What would you add to this list? 

Are you the parent of a child who will one day be a teenager? What are you looking forward to? Because mama, I know your answer isn't "nothing"!