Dear Children: 25 Things I Think You Need to Know

My Dearest Daughters,

Yesterday, you were babies, but today you are young women. When or how that happened, I have no idea, but it did, which means there is a very real possibility you will be out on your own in fewer years than you've been living in this house. 

I am far from being the wisest mom you could have ended up with, but I have tried to impart some sage advice to you while I've had the chance. And by "impart some sage advice," I mean, "I've told you such-and-such a bunch of times in the hopes you were paying attention at least one of those times so that you might remember such-and-such when I'm not on hand to say it again."

Here, in no particular order, are some of the things I've told you...for easy future reference should you need a refresher course. (If not for yourselves, then for my grandchildren. Many, many years from now. Many.)

1. Just because something is good to do doesn't mean it's good to do right now. A season for everything, my sweets...a season for everything.

2. On a math test, make sure you've answered the question that's actually being asked, in the right format. If there are five steps to solving a problem, don't finish four of them and get all excited and move on to the next question. And if your answer is supposed to be in feet or in a fraction, don't scrawl 5cm or 0.25 and call it good.

3. Stain removal 101: cold water for blood and chocolate. Also, Dawn dish soap is great for getting out grease.

4. When baking, check for doneness early. You can always add time, but you can't take it away. And you just simply have to pull brownies out while your brain is screaming, "These cannot possibly be done!" They're not. Which is how they should be.

5. God isn't going to hold you responsible for the actions or decisions of other people. You just worry about what He wants you to do in a given situation, and that will keep you plenty busy. For, oh, EVER.

6. Grammar round-up: 1)Affect=verb, effect=noun. Such as, "That movie affected me deeply, and the effect was that I cried for an hour." 2)Apostrophes show contraction or possession. If you want the grammar police's approval and you're not showing contraction or possession, don't use an apostrophe. 3) You lay something else down, but you lie down yourself...as in, "I'm going to lay this boring book on the table and then I'm going to lie down and take a nap." 

7. When buying lemons or limes or oranges or grapefruit, pick heavy over light. More weight means more juice. Which you want.

8. If God wants you to do it, He will help you to do it. But/and, if God isn't in it, you need to get out of it.

9. When buying chocolate, the following words are good: cocoa butter and cocoa liquor (which has nothing to do with alcohol). The following words are bad: hydrogenated oil. Bad chocolate is sad, whereas good chocolate will change your life for the better.

10. When you are tired, make yourself breath deeply, drink more water, and get natural light into your eyes.

11. The best gifts show the person you're giving them to that you've paid attention when that person has mentioned what they like and don't like. Bonus points if those gifts don't require maintenance, storage, or dusting.

12. "Right is right though all condemn, and wrong is wrong though all approve" (Charles Spurgeon). Or, put another way, right is right even if no one else is doing it, and wrong is wrong even if everyone else is doing it. 

13. Hand sanitizer will get ink and Christmas tree sap off your hands (along with, purportedly, 99.9% of germs...yes, Anna, our little germophobe, I know you dispute this).

14. When you're cooking pasta, don't forget to save some of the cooking liquid to use later if you need to unstick your noodles or thin a sauce or do any number of other pasta-y things.

15. Always buy unsalted butter. That way, you have a say in how much salt ends up in whatever you're making.

16. Practice rarely makes perfect, but it often makes possible. And preparation can be stronger than nerves. 

17. Don't be afraid of being a little nervous before you perform or do something else you don't do every day. Your nerves are just telling you that you're getting ready to do something amazing and out-of-the ordinary--which is why you don't get nervous before you brush your teeth. Remember: "anxiety is just a glimpse of your own daring" (Maria Shriver). Dare to be daring, my darlings.

18. As often as possible, try to "disrupt the world with grace" (Shane Claiborne).

19. If you're thinking something nice about someone, tell them! Don't let the thought stay stuck in your head. The world needs more encouragers.

20. I've borrowed a bunch of my mom advice from Ma Ingalls. The darkest hour is just before dawn? There's no great loss without some small gain? See "Ma(Ma) Always Said."

21. If you're making a recipe that tells you to beat egg whites to stiff peaks, make sure there isn't a single drop of egg yolk or any oil in the bowl or on the beaters. Egg whites and fat do not play nicely together. When in doubt, wipe down the bowl and beaters with a paper towel dowsed with white vinegar.

22. There is no substitute for homemade frosting. 

23. Don't settle for God as a spoke on your life's wheel. Make Him the hub.

24. Life is not about perfection. It's about process and progress.

25. I like you. I love you. And being your mom has been one of the greatest joys and privileges of my entire life.

xoxoxo,
Mom

What's one thing you want your children to know, mama? 

Share it in a comment or over on Facebook.

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Teachers Know These Things: 10 Practical Tips for Parents

My girls head back to school in about a month, which means stores around here are stuffed with supplies.

Now when I'm shopping, the only thing more confusing than trying to decide which yogurt to buy--Greek? nonfat? full-fat? Icelandic? fruit-on-the-bottom? no fruit but with a sidecar of crunchies?--is trying to figure out what kind of glue stick will provide the most adhesive power before it dries up in the tube at the exact moment one of my children has some massive posterboard project due the next day.

Enter to the rescue my friend Julia, a stellar second-grade teacher and one of my former college roommates who's still speaking to me. (On account of my worshiping at the throne of the almighty 4.0, I was very difficult to live with during my college years. Sorry, roomies. Not that I'm all that easy to live with now. Sorry, family.) Julia shared a life-altering post on Facebook about what kind of pencils professional educators wish their students would bring to class. Buoyed by this bit of consumer clarification, I asked Julia what else parents need to know when they're staring down The Great Wall of School Supplies.

She graciously answered that question and, along with a few of her teacher friends, also offered a few hints for general school-year success. 

Parents, consider this your teacher-approved back-to-school cheat sheet.

1. Presharpened Ticonderoga pencils are IT in the leaded writing implement world. Julia says that when these do need sharpening, your little scholar won't end up shaving most of it off the way they will with cheaper pencils. Seems like this falls in the "you get what you pay for" category of life stuff.

2. Pass up paper folders for more durable, longer-lasting plastic versions. (See "you get what you pay for," above.)

3. Wide-ruled notebooks are the rule in elementary school. Wait on college-ruled until college itself is a little closer. 

4. Crayola crayons. Yes. 

5. On lunch supplies, from an actual student (thank you, Brock): "pack enough for lunch 'cause kids are used to eating snacks in the summer." 

6. Also in the food-and-beverage department: send no-spill drinks in lunches. (While I'm not a professional educator and am in complete awe of those who can be and are, I will say that my girls are still going strong with the Contigo AUTOSEAL water bottles we bought last summer. No leaks, no breakage, no weird taste, no snapping off of the one minuscule part essential to the operation of the whole deal. (Zipper pulls, I'm looking at you.)

7. Buy extra art supplies now while they're readily available. In December, all the seasonal shelf space currently allotted to glue sticks, markers, and crayons will be given over to Ghiradelli chocolate gift sets. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, only that you should buy those markers before the changeover happens. At which point, of course, you should buy the Ghiradelli.

8. If a specific brand of something is on a supply list from your child's teacher, it's probably there for a reason, and it's not because the teacher is getting a kick-back from the XYZ Staple Company. If possible, try to get the brand listed.

9. Just checked mechanical pencils off your list? Great. Did you get the refills? Of course you did. Good job.

10. Stock up on envelopes and zip-top baggies. Because these are what your child's teacher wants money you send to school to be contained in. WITH your child's name on it. AND labeled with what the money is for. Please. Also, thank you.

Extra credit:

Julia and her colleagues also chimed in with a few other suggestions for a successful school year. Between these and your killer school supplies (and prayer...lots of prayer), I think you've got this, mama.

• Designate one area of your house for school "stuff"--packets, handbooks, notes from the teacher, etc. That way, when the question is "where in the world was that [insert specific school-related piece of paper]?" you'll already know the answer.
• Drop off all medications to the school nurse; don't send them with your student. And inform the nurse and your child's teacher of any diagnoses.
• Sign and return forms right away. Or sooner.
• Don't be on the phone when you pick your kids up or when they get home. I love the why behind this advice from Diane, a first-grade teacher: "they have missed you!"
• Check assignment notebooks or take-home folders nightly.
• Charme, a K-2 Literacy Coach, says, "Be sure to share anything going on with your child or home life, as it affects their day and how [their] teacher may respond to certain things [your] child does."
• Find out when your child has PE so you'll know when they need to take their gym shoes.
• Backpack clean-out is best done once a week, not at the end of the year when entire new colonies of living things have taken up residence.
• Notify the school ASAP if contact numbers or addresses change.
• "If you have to report an absence or dismissal change, contact the office, not the teacher. Teachers are busy teaching and can't always get to their phone or computer. They may be absent or in a meeting and the sub doesn't have access to their email or voicemail box." (School secretaries like Cindy know these things.)

My thanks to Julia and her colleagues--Sandy, Loree (and Brock), Diane, Susan, Rachel, Ann, Charme, Stephanie, and Cindy--for giving parents this crash-course on all things school-related. Got anything to add? Please share it in a comment or over on Facebook, because among other things, The Great Binder Decision still awaits me.


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