October 9, 2020

What I Want My Children To Think Of Me

Someday, my children will tell someone what they think of me. How they remember me. What kind of mom I was. What it was like being my child.

I’m not naïve: there’s plenty they could say in total truth that I wouldn’t want etched on my headstone. But I’m not done parenting them yet (I don’t think we ever are, actually), so I’m still writing those markings.

Here’s a list-in-progress of what I hope will make the cut.

That I sought God’s face and favor. 


That I cherished my children for who they were while encouraging them to become who they could be.


That I apologized genuinely and then acted differently afterwards.


That I listened.


That I wasn’t boring.


That I took an interest in them.


That I made them feel I was glad they were in my life.


That I loved with action.


That I prayed.


That I laughed.


That I loved their father well.


That I made a home and did not just keep a house.


That I let them go enough to leave when it was time but held on enough to bring them back from time to time.


That I chose my battles wisely.


That they knew they could come to me with anything.


That I was fun to spend time with.


That I let them feel what they felt and sat with them in those feelings rather than trying to rush them through those feelings.


That I gave them good memories.


That I pursued and prioritized relationship with them.


That I did not stay the same but that my love for them was, always, sure and certain.

5 comments:

  1. I love this list! I know you'd say you were blessed to be their mom, but they're so blessed to have you, too! <3

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    1. Aw, Lisa!!! You are just so precious! I know what your Gv thinks and WILL think of you, which is that you are one zillion percent WONDERFUL! I miss you!! xoxo, E

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  2. These are beautiful goals for any mother's legacy. I hope my four children will say or believe something similar about me. My favorites are these:

    "That I loved with action. That I prayed. That I loved their father well. That I gave them good memories."

    I would have to add to mine, "That she talked in silly voices, sang at random moments, and baked delicious bread."

    God bless!

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I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to tell me what you really think. Years ago, I explained to my then-two-year-old that my appointment with a counselor was "sort of like going to a doctor who will help me be a better mommy." Without blinking, she replied, "You'd better go every day." All of which is just to say I've spent some time in the school of brutal honesty!