September 3, 2018

Note to Self: Stop Saying You Are "Just" a Wife, Mom, and Homemaker

My 30th high school class reunion came and went recently. I didn't go for lots reasons I won't bore you with here (chief among them: that whole "leave the house and talk to people" thing), but if I had gone, I know I would have needed to have been ready to answer The Question. 

"So, what do you do?"

The Question is tricky, because into it I read a deeper one: "who are you?"

Who I am, in large part, is a wife, mom, and homemaker. I am other things, too—school volunteer, Bible study facilitator, church worship team member—but these are the big three.

What I do, in large part, is take care of my husband, our children, and our home. I do other things, too, but again, these are the big three.

I don't have another answer to The Question. I can't say that I'm a teacher or engineer or nurse or administrative assistant or electrician (though I wish I could on that last one, because this old farmhouse sure could use some new wiring).

Not having an answer other than "I'm a wife, mom, and homemaker" doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that I feel like I need one...

I'm so honored to be over on Ruthie Gray.Mom with the rest of this post. I'd love to have you make the trip over there and check it out.❤


Mentoring Moms; Capturing Joy


  1. elizabeth, i shared this post (well the full one over at on my blog. i gave you and ruthie gray full credit. it really spoke to where my heart is today. at my age and place in life, still parenting a grandchild and keeping a house full house, it just really is a knife to my heart to hear that i have no right to an opinion, disagreeing thought or even the right to want things the way i want even in my own kitchen...simply because i no longer have a paycheck and therefore do not contribute financially to the household. it is not my husband that tells me this, btw. apparently, the 'little' i do is worthless in the eyes of others and makes my thoughts and desires worthless when making decisions that affect the household. so thanks for the pick-me-up and reaffirmation that i do have value, even as a lowly homemaker! <3 terre

    1. sorry, not on my blog, but on fb.

    2. Oh my goodness, Terre...bless your heart! My own heart is breaking for you, but thank you so much for sharing so honestly here! I really wasn't sure I was ever going to publish this post, but now I am glad God prompted me to. I truly believe there is no higher calling than that of wife, mother, and homemaker and homekeeper. I believe women have been fed the lie that they can have it all, but the truth is that no one can. Something is going to fall through the cracks. Every family has to decide what works for them and what is worth the gain compared with the loss. But you DO have value, simply because you are a child of God, and one of His servants to your family on top of that. I pray you will find encouragement in the days ahead and know that God is already saying to you, "Well done, good and faithful servant." P.S. Thank you so much for sharing the full piece! If you read this message and want to leave a FB link, I would love to thank you there. Do you have a blog FB page? :)

  2. I struggle to answer that question too because while I see lots of value in what I do, sadly many do not... and often I feel like it's other working moms how put me on the defensive the most.

    1. I am a kindred spirit with you on this, Mother of 3. The Question is a tricky one, to be sure! But I believe in the value of my answer, so I need to quit hanging my head about it! Thanks so much for taking time to stop by!


I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to tell me what you really think. Years ago, I explained to my then-two-year-old that my appointment with a counselor was "sort of like going to a doctor who will help me be a better mommy." Without blinking, she replied, "You'd better go every day." All of which is just to say I've spent some time in the school of brutal honesty!