July 15, 2016

Mamas, Please Don't Grieve That Your Children Are Growing Up


There it was again in my Facebook feed: someone’s post of an adorable birthday girl with a sweet smile and a sprinkled cupcake, ready for the eating. 
And beneath it, along with the likes and loves? A sad, crying Facebook “reaction” face. 
Which breaks my heart.
I understand the sadness of what is left behind, mamas. I really do. But how much more should we celebrate the gift of a new day, new hopes, new joys with our children? My thanks to Her View From Home for letting me get this off my heart. I'd be so grateful if you'd take a few seconds to head over there and read the rest of this piece. And I've love to know where your heart is on this. 


**This post may have been shared at some of these blog bashes.**

14 comments:

  1. I am probably the only mom that didn't cry on my kids first day of Kindergarten, or the last. I am happy he is growing and maturing. I try to enjoy where he is now. I don't pine for when he was a baby nor do I wish he were older so he could "fill in the blank". I try to be sympathetic to other moms that get upset over these things, but the concept is so foreign to me.

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    1. Audrey, I LOVE and appreciate your honesty. And I don't think you are alone in this! I try to practice what you've shared here. I get a little nostalgic, but I try to be grateful for the now. Some days, that's easier than others. But I try. ;) I also love what you say about being sympathetic to other moms' struggles...their story may not be ours, but the gift of sympathy if not empathy is one we can at least try to give each other! Thanks so much for stopping by...as always, I appreciate you so much!

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  2. What a great perspective. It's not that I necessarily want to go back in time, I just want it to slow down a bit. I am an emotional person, so naturally i get emotional as I watch my kids grow up. Mostly out of pride and mostly because I want it to slow down.

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    1. Emotions, pride...you've hit the nail on the head for me right now, too, Samantha! My daughter's senior year hasn't even officially started yet, and I already feel like it's a speeding train I'm running to jump onto! But yes, so much pride and excitement for what this year and those beyond hold for her. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your thoughtful words!

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  3. I try hard to stay rooted in the present moment of motherhood, but it can be hard to not feel nostalgic about the past and excited for the future at times. Thank you for sharing on Family Joy Blog Link-Up Party. Have a great week!

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    1. I fight that battle all the time, too! I look back on when my girls were little and wish I'd savored those moments more. Maybe that's why I'm trying to learn from that and savor the ones we're in now. :) Thank you so much for sharing your heart and for hosting the Family Joy party!

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  4. What a fantastic perspective! I always felt like my mom was sad I was growing up, and it made me hold back sometimes when I wouldn't have otherwise... don't tell her though, my mom is awesome otherwise, haha! #FridayFrivolity

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    1. Not to worry, Sarah Eliza...I have no doubt that your mom has a hundred fabulous traits to make up for this one understandable "weakness"! ;)It's a hard trap to avoid, but I'm fighting it like crazy, especially these days. Thanks so much to you and all the #FridayFrivolity girls!

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  5. So true - great thoughts. It's hard thought, but I agree. I remember how it was when I was growing up, and it was tough on my mom sometimes. I think it was more fear than sadness...ha! Trying to make sure I catch myself and realize what's happening before it happens...you know, because us moms have super powers :) Great post - thanks for sharing! (visit from SHINE)

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    1. You are so right, Ann: it IS hard. And I think you nailed it about "more fear than sadness." I saw a comment on this from someone yesterday about fear of the future making us long for the past, and I absolutely agree with that. We know what happened before and, hopefully, loved much of it, so it's hard to celebrate an unknown future. I just know so many times, after something has happened, that I wish I'd savored it more IN the moment. So I'm trying to do that with my girls as they grow...as you wisely said, "Trying to make sure I catch myself and realize what's happening before it happens." Thank you for stopping by from the SHINE and for leaving your thoughtful words!

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  6. Beautifully said, Elizabeth. I think there's a bittersweet aspect to it. We mourn the loss of those little days while celebrating the future that our kids still have in store. You're absolutely right, however, "tomorrow is a promise to no one" So instead of being sad that our babies are now growing up, perhaps it's better that we can just be thankful we were able to have those moments in the first place; because some parents aren't so lucky. Thank you for sharing your beautiful perspective with us on #shinebloghop! this week.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely and considerate perspective here, Maria! With two teenagers, I well understand the longing for days gone by! Which is why more and more, I'm just trying to be deliberate about appreciating--and not taking for granted--the days we're living now. Blessings to you and all the SHINE hostesses. xoxo

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  7. I think I don't feel so sad because I'm truly soaking up every single second with Gv - it's always so fun to see her growing and changing, too! Maybe I'd feel different if I weren't able to spend all this time with her, though. I'm just happy to not worry about what that would be like!

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    1. Lisa, as usual, I 100 zillion percent agree with you. When my baby went off to kindergarten, people asked, "Oh, aren't you sad?" And I was able to tell them honestly that I wasn't (too much) because we had all the years before together. We had lived so many moments and stored up so many memories that I was just happy to be able to see her move on to the next thing she was supposed to do. And I agree with you: to have that time is a privilege and blessing, and I'm so thankful I had it. Thanks as always for stopping by...you're the best.

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I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to tell me what you really think. Years ago, I explained to my then-two-year that my appointment with a counselor was "sort of like going to a doctor who will help me be a better mommy." Without blinking, she replied, "You'd better go every day." All of which is just to say I've spent some time in the school of brutal honesty!