You Might Be a Home Schooler If...(A Guest Post By Someone Who Knows)

 

When my oldest was a preschooler, she was working on her counting at home one day, trying to get over the hump from 29 to 30. 

She was getting hung up, though, because she kept saying "twenty-nine, twenty-ten." 

At which point I stepped in to "help." 

Five minutes later, she was sobbing and saying "tweh-, tweh-, tweh-, twenty-nine, thir-, thir-, thir-, thirty." Because I was so mean and horrible and impatient with her that I made her cry. Made. Her. Cry. When all she was doing was learning to count.

And this, my friends, is Exhibit A in our case for "Why We Don't Home School." Because I made my child cry (sob, actually) just trying to teach her to get from 29 to 30. Imagine if I'd been trying to instruct her in advanced trigonometry or quantum physics or how to figure out the volume of a cube. I'm starting to sob myself just thinking about it.

So we don't home school. Actually, my husband and I very deliberately and intentionally determined, upon "inquiring of the Lord" (see Joshua 9:14), that we would be a Christian public school family. And on the cusp of our aforementioned older daughter's senior year, it is a decision we've never once regretted. (For the record, she can count just fine.)

But, because of that decision, I cannot write about home schooling. So I'm thrilled to be able to introduce you to someone who can: my friend Julie.

Julie home schools her two boys and, I'm guessing, has never made them sob. We share, shall we say, a "distaste" for math (genius hashtag by Julie: #‎algebrasuckstheliferightoutofme‬) but also a love of chocolate, which everyone knows binds people of all nations, personalities, and schooling choices together in perfect harmony.

Julie says you might be a home schooler if...

Your teacher makes you stop in the middle of math class to pray about your attitude.

Grocery shopping or lunch with the grandparents is a "field trip."

Walking the dog or riding your bike is "gym class."

You do math and language with a cat on your lap.

There's only one other person in your class.

You've made your teacher cry.

You make fun of the kids on the school bus when it goes by.

Part of your curriculum is chores.

You get your birthday off school.

You get the day off school if you just got back from vacation.

You get to sleep in on Mondays.

You get to wrestle with your brother in between classes.

You get to do school outside in the spring.

You're doing math and realize you're still in your pj's.

You get to have a sleepover on a weeknight.

You get to have friends over for lunch.

Watching Little House on the Prairie is "history class."

You do all of your subjects in one room.

You don’t have a backpack or a lunch box.

You only have one pair of jeans.

You get to go to work with your dad.

Your mom brings lunch to your desk.

Detention is being sent to your room.

You have to mow the lawn during your lunch break.

You still have to do school when you’re sick.

You don’t get snow days.

You ask how gum is made and have to write a paper about it.

Your mom corrects your grammar all day long.

Your pet is your mascot.

Your best friend and the school bully are the same person.

Thank you, Julie, for this fabulous list! Home schooling mamas, what would you (or your pupils) add to it? Leave your wit and wisdom in a comment or over on Facebook. And if you've got a math class to teach in the near future, may I first suggest some fortifying chocolate?

Julie Taylor is wife to a great guy, mom to two teenage boys, and a home schooler. She starts her day with Jesus and coffee and ends her day with a hot bubble bath. In between, she feeds people constantly and tries to get a nap. She enjoys reading articles on health and nutrition, taking walks outside, finding ways to save money on groceries, having family time, cooking, baking chocolate-chip cookies, and staying home. She does not enjoy jogging; algebra makes her brain hurt; and putting laundry away is her least favorite chore. But life is good, and she tries to count her many blessings daily.



Previous posts that might have something to do with this one:
My 10 Favorite Mom Jobs
Why I Still Stay Home
What Good Students Do