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June 5, 2020

Dear Myth of the Perfect Family: We’ve Had Enough of You



Yes, you, with your nosiness and your tiresome commentary on every family situation.

No children? “You two had better get busy!”

One child? “When are you going to give them a sibling?”

Lots of kids? “Are all those yours?”

All girls? “Their poor dad.”

All boys? “Every mom needs a daughter.”

Blended families? “Are you the Brady Bunch?”

Young children: “Just wait till they get to be teenagers.”

Empty nest? “What are you going to do with yourselves?” 

And then there are your sneakier suggestions.

Kids don’t have every opportunity? “They’ll be missing out.”

Mom works? “Your kids will suffer.”

Mom stays home? “What kind of role model is that?”

Siblings don’t get along? “Your kids should be each other’s best friends.”

Family fights? “Don’t show that in the Christmas card picture.”

There’s no pleasing you, and frankly, it’s not our job as families to try. Our job as families is to love each other the best we can. 

Maybe to you, oh myth, that best looks balanced and tidy and smiley and neat and figured out and complete. In our true story, though, that best looks lopsided and messy and very, very much in progress. 

But we’ll take our true story over your myth any day. It’s our story, and we’re not only sticking to it, we’re sticking to and with each other. 

1 comment:

I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to tell me what you really think. Years ago, I explained to my then-two-year-old that my appointment with a counselor was "sort of like going to a doctor who will help me be a better mommy." Without blinking, she replied, "You'd better go every day." All of which is just to say I've spent some time in the school of brutal honesty!