13 Things To Say To Your Kids When They're Having a Bad Day

The other day, I got this text from my college freshman daughter:

"Didn't go so hot."

She was checking in with me about the Psych 101 quiz she'd just taken. The one she'd nervously asked me to pray about when she left for school that morning.

I responded to her message by assuring her of my love and telling her it would be okay and encouraging her to just do the next thing she needed to do, the best that she could. 

And then I ordered her a jacket she'd been looking at online. Because, retail therapy. (Also, because she needed one.)

When kids are hurting, moms want to make it better. So we pray...and pray some more. We worry...and worry some more. But there are also things we say--things that aren't new or groundbreaking but that are timeless classics for one reason: they work.

If someone who calls you "mom" is having a bad day, here are some go-to phrases you might want to have in your maternal arsenal. Don't let their simplicity undermine their power. I've said these things over and over, and often, not long after I've said them, my daughters have told me, "I always feel better after I talk to you." Which is pretty much the highest mom compliment I ever hope to get.

1. I love you.

2. I'm praying for you.

3. Take a deep breath.

4. I'm already proud of you. 

5. This is not your whole story.

6. Do you want to talk about it?

7. I'm here for you.

8. Just take the next step.

9. It will be okay.

10. I know you'll be able to figure this out.

11. Is there anything I can do to help?

12. I really, really love you.

13. How about some ice cream?

What would you add to this list, mama? 

Leave your wisdom here in a comment or over on Facebook. 

While I wait for it, I'm going to round up some ice cream.

P.S. After I originally wrote and published this post, I added a few "things," necessity being the mother of invention and motherhood often necessitating invention and all that. Pin away...because mama said there'd be days like this.

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Almond Poppyseed Muffins

Every so often, I work as a catering assistant, and here's one thing I learned right away: by the time the night is through, whatever we're serving will inevitably become The Thing I Most Want to Eat in the World.

At a recent wedding, the cake was an almond poppyseed affair, and the minute I was able to swipe a sample from a layer that had been cut and served and whisked away to our prep station, I began fantasizing about this cake. Specifically, about eating it. More specifically, about eating quite a lot of it.

But since neither a wedding nor a wedding cake were in my near future, I needed to apply this combination to something that would fit into regular life. Enter Sunday-morning breakfast. I often make muffins for my family while we're rushing around trying to get ready for church and negotiating face time at the house's "best" mirror. 

I don't make muffins for breakfast before church because I need one more thing to do on Sunday mornings (a.k.a., the time of the week when the members of my family generally like each other the least but must, by the time we pull into the church parking lot, pretend we like each other the most). I do it because making them on Sundays means I have leftovers for Mondays (a.k.a., the day of the week we most need mood-enhancing baked goods for breakfast).

After tasting and obsessing over that wedding cake, I tweaked one of my favorite muffin recipes and ended up with something that had the soul of the cake but the applicability of something I can legitimately serve for breakfast. 

My family liked them quite a lot the first time I made them, thanks for asking, AND we managed to make it to church on time with a minimum of discord. Which is as much of a Sunday-morning miracle as I'm likely to see again anytime soon.

Almond Poppyseed Muffins {print}

2 cups all-purpose flour (sometimes I substitute 1/2 white whole wheat flour, but don't get too grainy with these...you'll lose the wedding cake-esque quality)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon (yes) baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon poppyseeds
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1 egg white
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup plain yogurt OR ricotta cheese
2/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon pure almond extract

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Lightly coat a 12-cup muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray OR line with cupcake liners.

Whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and poppyseeds in a large bowl. (I love to use my batter bowl for this, along with about a zillion other kitchen tasks.) Make a well in the center and set aside. 

In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients (egg through extract). Pour into the well in your dry ingredients, and gently fold everything together just until you don't see any more dry mixture. Do NOT attempt to de-lump your batter. Lumpy muffin batter is happy muffin batter, and it will make you a happy muffin-eater.

Divide your batter among 12 muffin cups, and bake for 12-18 minutes, just until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out mostly clean.

Remove from oven and cool 5 minutes in the pan before removing to a wire rack. Enjoy while warm or cool completely before storing or freezing in an airtight container. Makes 12 muffins.

Previous post that might have something to do with this one:Four Kitchen Tool Must-Haves Plus One I Just Really Like

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6 Verses To Help You Through

A couple months ago, I asked my younger daughter to pray for me about a struggle I'd been messing with for a while. I told her I just felt stuck, like I'd been going around and around in a revolving door and couldn't get out. 

My 14-year-old asked a few questions--looking for a little more detail--then promised to pray.

A day or so later, she handed me a piece of notebook paper filled front and back with her handwriting. At the top, she'd written, "Bible Verses To Help You Through." 

After I'd read just one verse and her personal commentary on it, I:

• Thanked her in awe and gratitude.
• Asked if I could share it. Because isn't everybody trying to get through something? 

Maybe you're just at the beginning of "through." Maybe you're feeling stuck in the middle of the middle of the middle. Maybe the end is in sight, but you're soul-weary from the journey.

Wherever you're at, I pray these verses and reflections from my sweet girl--shared here with her permission and blessing--will encourage your heart and mind. 

"But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about.' " (Luke 10:41, 42a, NLT)

"Your unfailing love is better than life itself." (Psalm 63:3, NLT)

"You satisfy me more than the richest feast." (Psalm 63:5a, NLT)

These verses help me to have a better perspective on things. They're a good reminder that the things we are worried about and stress over hold no importance compared to God. The things on earth we allow to hold our delight and joy do not begin to compare to Him and His love for us--His unfailing love that will never leave us empty or needing more, like earthly things do.

"God is not a man, so He does not lie. He is not human, so He does not change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?" (Number 23:19, NLT)

This verse puts me at ease. Naturally, as humans, we change constantly. This verse helps me to find peace in the fact that the One Who is greater than any other is constant. We never have to worry that He will change or that His love for us will change. He will always be consistently perfect.

"For my people have done two evil things: They have abandoned me--the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all!" (Jeremiah 2:13, NLT)

Again, this verse helps me to get a better perspective. We become so upset when worldly things we take delight in fail, yet that is what they're bound to do! He is the only, only, only one who can fulfill us.

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." (Psalm 139:16, NLT)

I think this verse offers peace, too. There is not one event that will take place in our lives that is too much for God. One bad event, or even many, isn't going to derail His outstanding plan for us. He has a great plan for us, immensely greater than what ours could ever be, and His plan works with the bad times, too.

And here's one add-on from me...

"The Lord is my shepherd. He gives me everything I need. He lets me lie down in the fields of green grass. He leads me beside quiet waters. He gives me new strength. He guides me in the right paths for the honor of his name. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid. You are with me. Your shepherd's rod and staff comfort me. You prepare a feast for me right in front of my enemies. You pour oil on my head. My cup runs over. I am sure that your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. And I will live in the house of the Lord forever." (Psalm 23, NIRV)

I loved the fresh insight I gained into this familiar psalm the other day during my devotional reading from Revealing Jesus, by Darlene Zschech. She quotes the Reverend Derek Kidner about verse 4, which is often translated "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death": "Only the Lord can lead a man through death; all other guides turn back, and the traveler must go on alone." 

Maybe you feel like you're walking through a dark valley right now. Maybe you're going through loss caused by death or the letting-go of dreams or hopes or just the expectation of what your life would look like. Whatever you're going through, Yahweh-raah--God as shepherd--is with you.

Do you have a favorite "get through" verse? 

I'd love to have you share it here or over on my Facebook page.

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Previous posts that might have something to do with this one:

• 7 Sources of Encouragement For Your Teen Daughter's Heart
• Seven Things To Do When There's Nothing To Do But Wait
• What To Think About Instead of That Thing You're Trying Not to Think About

This post may have been shared at some of these blog link parties.