April 19, 2018

Why I'll Keep Doing Things For My Kids That They Can Do For Themselves


A few mornings ago, I made pancakes for my high school freshman.

The night before, she'd asked me, “I was wondering—and it’s totally fine if you say no—but I was wondering if maybe you could make me oatmeal pancakes for breakfast tomorrow?”

I could. And I did.

Of course she could have made her own breakfast. She does, in fact, make her own breakfast other mornings when I can’t and don’t.

She didn’t actually need me to make her breakfast that day, but doing it for her smoothed out the edges of a morning that was headed toward rough.

And after I made those pancakes, I also packed her a lunch and threw in a load of her dance laundry.

I did some things for her that she can do for herself.
I made life a little easier for her.

I babied her.

And I know I’m not “supposed” to do these things. I know I’m supposed to teach my kids to fend for themselves, to be independent, and, most of all, not to need me anymore.

But here's why I'll keep doing these things for them, while I still have the chance...


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2 comments:

  1. I even think about this sometimes when I do things for Gv that she can do herself -- sometimes it's just nice to be "mommied!"

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    1. "Sometimes it's just nice to be "mommied!" As always, you have put it perfectly. YES. That's exactly what I was getting at. And I did think about this in terms of young kids, too...at any age, "sometimes it's just nice to be mommied." Even at 48 (today!). My mommy "mommied" me this very day! Hugs to you, my friend-who-always-gets-me. xoxo

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I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to tell me what you really think. Years ago, I explained to my then-two-year that my appointment with a counselor was "sort of like going to a doctor who will help me be a better mommy." Without blinking, she replied, "You'd better go every day." All of which is just to say I've spent some time in the school of brutal honesty!